I have a lot in my heart that I am mulling around . . trying to figure out how to get it out in a comprehensible manner.
Last night Stephen and I were sharing with Clayton some of our marriage journey. We were remembering back to the beginning and lessons learned. When we had been engaged for a couple months our immaturity and learned singleness was creating problems in our relationship. In fact things had gotten so bad that I was thinking of calling everything off and running home. I called my mama and was telling her just that. My mama, having that mama's heart, said "of course you can come home!" Well my dad was listening to it all and he got on the phone.
He told me that I could not run home. He told me that I needed to be an adult and communicate with Stephen. He told me to write out in a clear way everything I was struggling with, to sit down with Stephen and explain what I was "feeling". He told me to use that word and not accuse him, to put emotions aside and explain in a clear way what I was having issues with. Then he told me to ask Stephen to have a list the next night for me and to explain his side. He told us to pray before we had our conversations. Then he told me I could come home if we decided it wouldn't work but that I had to handle it like an adult first. We spoke for an hour. He spelled out how to handle our conflict. It might have been the longest deep conversation we had had at this point.
Well I called Stephen and after some struggle we set up a time to sit down and talk. I did everything my daddy said to do. I had my list. I explained everything in a clear concise way. Stephen listened and we talked through things but mostly he listened. When we were done, Stephen looked at me and said "WOW, is that how to communicate?!" We were both wide eyed and amazed. It was a major turning point in our lives and in our relationship. That set our marriage on the course it has taken. My dad ( and God using my dad ) changed my life and Stephen's life in that one hour of talking to me. ( I am emotional as I write this.) Stephen and I will always tell everyone that my dad was one of the most influential people in our marriage.
If he had not taken that time to stop what he was doing and pour into my life, to teach me, to train me we might not be married today.
Thank you my daddy for teaching me. Thank you for imparting wisdom, for having time for me. My learning from you didn't start at this moment. You had set an example already to me of how to handle conflict. I had seen your responsibility and Christ in you. You have been an amazing father and I am amazed by God's goodness in giving me you as a daddy.
I Love You.
Happy Father's Day!
your daughter, Courtney